Second Draft

The setting where the climax takes place is a bench a block away from Daisy’s foster home in Philadelphia. The story takes place at about ten o’clock at night and the sky is a dark grey with huge black clouds storming over the city. It was raining and thundering very heavily because it was the springtime. The scene shows a teenager named Daisy crying and screaming on an old rusty bench near a local Philadelphia park. Daisy arrives at the park after her foster parent Amanda tells her that her brother Chris had passed away. In the foreground you can see Daisy crying over her brothers death. You can also see a shattered glass bottle just a couple feet away from the bench Daisy was sitting on. In the background you can see the neighborhood where Daisy lives and the playscapes at the park.

Daisy stood alone outside on a dark stormy night. She cried and screamed, frustrated with her entire life. She knew she did not have an easy childhood. Daisy and her twin brother Chris had been in the foster care system since they were two. They had been in and out of many homes but no family ever wanted them enough to adopt them. Daisy was a poor student because she could not find any motivation to do the work. She also acted up very frequently, bullying other kids after class, stealing from stores in the mall and getting into fist fights at the park. She grew to hate the person that she was and wanted to change but just felt like everything was out of her control. Daisy’s life was miserable but it helped her to know that she still would always have Chris by her side. After a rough day of failing four assessments in school and getting into a couple fights, Daisy was on her way home. When she arrived at the foster home she followed her regular routine of heading directly to her room when the head of the house Miss Amanda stopped her in her tracks. Although, Miss Amanda never murmured even a word to any child in that home so Daisy knew something had to be wrong. “Hey Daisy” said Miss Amanda, “I’m sorry to tell you this but Chris passed away today.” Daisy at first did not believe her but once she realized what Miss Amanda said was true she immediately ran outside to the bench a block away from the foster home. She was in such a shock that she couldn't even feel herself inside her own body. For the first time in her life she felt absolutely hopeless. She took a large piece of shattered glass from a broken bottle on the sidewalk and cut her wrists open. She kept on doing this until she passed out on the ground. She quickly ran out of too much blood and died just ten minutes later. With a broken childhood and a storm of problems surrounding her, all Daisy felt she could do was tear herself apart.